have yourself a merry little christmas

When I was a kid everything about Christmas was beautiful and fun and exciting. Now that I'm older, and a Mom. Those things still hold true but in different ways. I certainly appreciate how hard my Mom worked to make every Christmas magical for us kids.



What's struck me more and more is that this time of year can also be an emotional minefield. Once seemingly happy or tender memories become bittersweet. Some down right painful (I've written about it before). For me, these memories usually have to do with my grandmother. She went home to her Heavenly Father eleven years ago today.  A Hymn in church, the cookies I bake from her recipe. The scent of the hand lotion I use everyday (the same she used) trigger a flood of tears. Suddenly she's everywhere and the dull ache of her absence is as raw and painful as it was a decade ago.



This happened recently in a big way when I got so excited to watch one of my favorite old movies on TV. Meet Me in St. Louis. I watched it at Grandma's house a hundred times as a kid. It was one of the four VHS tapes she owned. All Judy Garland related. Grandma loved Judy so I loved Judy. I still do but now the sound of Judy Garland's incomparable voice is irrevocably linked to one of those tear inducing memories. I still watch and I still listen. I just do it with a box of Kleenex nearby. Here is one of my favorite scenes and Judy Garland at her most beautiful.



When I get overwhelmed by it all I also remind myself that Grandma was a woman of great faith. She was a baptized child of God. Saved by Grace through faith in Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. She is with Him now and with the whole company of hosts. She would want me to remember that too. So, while I may cry more than I sing in church tomorrow night there is no better place to feel closer to our lost loved ones than when we commune with all the saints on earth and in heaven. 


I hope you all Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and a Happy New Year too! 

-Saron 

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